The Art of Her Project | Cecilia Schreiber Part 2.

When Cecilia came to me with a request to do the project again, I wasn't completely surprised. This isn't the first time someone requested this, as we have many stories to share. What did surprise me though, was her why.

She came to share the other side.

In this project, the intention is generally to celebrate the "coming out on top" of our stories. To allow us to see ourselves for the strength and perseverance it may have taken to get there. To highlight something we, as women, often sweep under the rug. And that's to fight the dragons and then go about life like it never happened, and often never seeing or allowing ourselves to celebrate ourselves for what it took to get through it.

This time however, she wanted it to be different.

She wanted to share the "ugly" side of surviving her situation.

To bring awareness to the part that exists and we often also forget. The part where-- us "just trying to get through" -- may have affected others, hurt others, was in survival mode and was not yet triumphant.

Not to shame, or take away from the part of her that was also deserving of being celebrated for her strength, but to add to and not disregard the parts that were less strong, and less pretty.

In her first participation of the project, I said this about Cecilia: "Cecilia's story is one of both heartbreak and strength. No matter which way you put it. As a mom, experiencing trust ripped away, and discovering harm had come to your child is heartbreaking. What you do with that next, requires strength and intention. And Cecilia handled this with both."

That is still true.

And yet, Cecilia wants to bring to light the part that we don't always acknowledge and ensure that if anyone else is here, in this part of survival, to know you're not alone and to hopefully walk away with some words of wisdom as you move through it.

This is the Art of Cecilia, the art of "going through it".

This is the Art of Her.

Interview with Cecilia Schreiber

Jessica: Tell us about you, The woman.

Cecilia: I am imperfectly made to do extraordinary things.

I am Mother/Mama/Mom to seven. I am Nani to three.

I get to connect with people and learn how I can best support them in achieving their business and wellness goals.

Jessica: As this is your second Art of Her experience, and this one relates to your last one, please share briefly your first art of her story.

Cecilia: My first story revolves around a deeply traumatic event that I was able to navigate with God's help.

Read the full story here: https://jkstucson.com/blog/b/art-of-cecilia-schreiber

Jessica: Why did you want to do a part 2?

Cecilia: Part one paints a picture of strength and perseverance. It's true, I fought a battle no mother should ever have to face. Then, for years, I struggled to do everything I could just to survive. I want to shed light on a reality of being in survival mode. For me, it was more of an "escape mode." This part wasn't heroic at all.

Jessica: What are the unspoken pieces that you feel need to be shared?

Cecilia: I disappeared. I allowed grief and desperation to consume me.

I barely functioned as a mother. Yes, my children were clean, fed, clothed, taken to school and extra curricular activities. I attended parenting classes/Bible studies. I went to therapy regularly. I had friends who loved on me in countless ways. I appeared to be holding it all together, highlighting sweet moments on social media. In reality, I was in a constant fight between light and darkness, going through the motions of day to day living. Meanwhile, my children suffered greatly - their mommy wasn't present both emotionally and physically. Despite all the support and resources at my fingertips, I chose to escape.

Jessica: Tell me about a specific experience as it surrounds this part of your story.

Cecilia: I spent many nights away from home. I told myself it was self-care. The whole "when momma's down, the whole house is down" kept me justified in my actions. So many lies - "they'll be fine" - "they're old enough to be left alone, so it's okay" - "they don't need me while they're sleeping"...

Jessica: What would you say you learned about yourself during or since this event?  

Cecilia: I wasn't as resilient as I claimed to be or tried to portray. I allowed my feelings to dictate my choices, and I made those choices selfishly.

Also, it's amazing to me how much we can evolve within a seemingly short period of time. The Cecilia sharing this today is already so much different than the Cecilia in the Art of Her, three years ago.

Jessica: What is the one piece of advice would you give your younger self in this time?

Cecilia: First of all, I would beg her with all my might to listen and take action.

Stay home with your babies and nurture those relationships! There's literally no amount of "self-care" that will take away this heartache.

Jessica: What is your story of now?

Cecilia: It is one of continued restoration. Doing what I can to mend or even recreate loving relationships with each one of my children.

Trying my best to live a life that reflects my trust in God - that He will work it all out for good.

Jessica: What is the ongoing challenge you face?

Cecilia: While it's been a journey of self-compassion and forgiveness, I still find myself getting lost in the sorrow of regret every now and then.

Jessica: Are there any myths you would like to bust about moving through these types of experiences?

Cecilia: The idea of "time heals all wounds." The intensity and frequency of the pain caused by grief/loss/trauma can lessen over time. These kind of wounds are deep; they never completely go away and they hurt unexpectedly, no matter how much time has passed.

Jessica: If you could talk to someone finding them in this same space now, what would you say?

Cecilia: I see you. I know you're tired. Put everything you've got into the hearts of your babies. Believe it or not, it's how you're taking care of you. Just a few short years from now, the bond you nurtured with your children will reap rewards that no amount of self-care could ever give.

Don't be afraid to be completely transparent and share your struggles so that you don't have to endure them alone.

Jessica: Anything else you would like to add?

Cecilia: Thank you, Jessica... thank you for giving me the space to honor pieces of my story - a place to acknowledge the strength and power, and the hard and ugly.

All are the Art of Me.

Creative Credits:

Photography by Jessica Korff Studios

Makeup by: Renee Lanz | Radiate with ReneeJ

Dress Draping: Dresses draped and created by: Jessica Korff